Because of the tendency to mistake having Agape for yourself with being narcissistic and self-centered, I'd like to explain exactly what I mean by "Love yourself".
It means taking care of our needs, and making sure we are not pouring from an empty vessel.
In the Bible, we read "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?", in 1 Corinthians 6:19. While in context, this passage is about sexual immorality, which I will address later in this blog, I much prefer the Mormon take on this verse, expanding it to literal fact.
What do we do with a temple?
We keep it free of impurities. Therefore, part of loving ourselves is not taking in excess things that are harmful to us, such as cigarettes, or alcohol, or other chemical concoctions.
We build it of the strongest materials we have, so that it will stand the test of time. Therefore, we eat healthy, and exercise, not out of a need to conform to the fickle standards of societal beauty, but in order that the temple that is our body may house our spirit for as long as possible.
We adorn it with beautiful things. Therefore, we wear clothing that accentuates our own natural beauty, rather than trying to wear "the latest fashion". Remember, things don't have to be expensive to be beautiful.
We build it in a place of peace, serenity, and beauty. Therefore, we keep the space where we live clean, a place of sanctuary where we can recharge, and invite others to share in the peace of our household.
A temple is itself a place of serenity and peace. Therefore, we must work within ourselves to find peace and serenity, to deal with the emotional scars life gives us, that internally, we may be emotionally stable and at peace with who we are.
We do not allow anyone to desecrate or defile our temple. Therefore, we do not associate with those who are unhealthy for us, and do not put up with those who would use us for their own ends. We create emotional, and if necessary, physical boundaries, and stick to them.
We seek the help of others in our community to maintain and continue to beautify our temple. Therefore, we seek out those who bolster us, who provide us with the emotional support we need to grow and learn, those who help us most to seek our own personal Truth. We seek out those who will help us with our emotional and mental stresses, who will help us to clean our mind of them.
A temple is a place where you commune with God. Therefore, we learn how to pray, in whatever manner that comes, and are in constant communication with the Divine.
We consult with experts in design and engineering, that it may remain as we build it. Therefore, we go to our doctor if we are not well, and to our psychologist if there is need, and do not hesitate to seek the help of professionals, should we need it.
We keep a temple clean, outside and in. Therefore, we maintain a regular habit of good personal hygiene.
It has been my greatest failing that I do these things only on an irregular basis. In the past, I have had a great deal of trouble learning to love myself, tending to take care of the needs of others before I take care of my own.
This is what I mean by pouring from an empty vessel. If we have no love for ourselves, the love we have for others will tend to be hollow, at best.
In none of this should we take it to the point of obsession, to the point of focusing so much on ourselves that we fail to see others as sacred houses of spirit. Once we take these simple things to extremes, then is when things tread into the zone of arrogance, vanity, and narcissism, and then we have lost the true meaning of self-Agape.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
Alright, so where do we start?
So, now that we've defined the problem, where do we start?
I have to admit, this one had me puzzled for the longest time. I saw the world in all its diversity, I heard of all the hatred and misunderstandings, and believed the task of helping the world see past its differences and helping to usher in an age where Christ's admonition "Love one another", is universally applied, was too far beyond reach. I mean, the world is a big place, right? How can a single voice, a single man, change the world for the better, when the entire world seems hell bent on dividing us, on making us see our differences as insurmountable, on making sure that the "other" is only an object of scorn at best, and hate at worst.
And really, if I am honest with myself, taking on the world single handed is an impossible task. While there is something romantic about the lone underdog taking on the world and bending it to his will, that's not how things work.
So what then?
In the Wiccan religion, there is a simple law, stated with such eloquence as to distill this problem into a simple statement.
"If what you seek you find not within, you will never find it without."
What this means is simple. If we would create a more loving world, a world where fear and distrust do not exist, we must first find that love within ourselves, and dispell our own fear and distrust.
It starts, simply enough, with learning to love ourselves.
It is easy to conjure images when I say "love ourselves" of Narcissus, staring at his own reflection in a pool of water, and being unable to turn away. That, however, is not at all what I mean. By loving ourselves, I mean that we are willing to do anything for ourselves that is for our good, even if we don't want to do it. I mean loving ourselves as the Divine loves us, and seeing ourselves through Divine eyes. I mean accepting ourselves exactly as we are, and loving even the parts of ourselves that we dislike, for if we cannot do this for ourselves, we have no chance of enacting that kind of love for another.
It means treating ourselves as sacred, as the starting point of learning to treat all others as sacred.
From there, we can learn to love others, to follow the second greatest commandment, according to Christ:
"And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself." -- Matthew 22:39
It is this, expanding our sense of self, our love for ourselves to others, that will result in the change we are looking for. Imagine a world where everyone not only acknowledged their own sacred nature, and loved and respected themselves, but also recognized that everyone else they met was just as sacred, and applied that love to them as well.
The Buddha teaches us that: "You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection."
It is when we realize that we deserve our own love, and so does everyone else, that we can truly begin the process of changing the world through Agape.
I have to admit, this one had me puzzled for the longest time. I saw the world in all its diversity, I heard of all the hatred and misunderstandings, and believed the task of helping the world see past its differences and helping to usher in an age where Christ's admonition "Love one another", is universally applied, was too far beyond reach. I mean, the world is a big place, right? How can a single voice, a single man, change the world for the better, when the entire world seems hell bent on dividing us, on making us see our differences as insurmountable, on making sure that the "other" is only an object of scorn at best, and hate at worst.
And really, if I am honest with myself, taking on the world single handed is an impossible task. While there is something romantic about the lone underdog taking on the world and bending it to his will, that's not how things work.
So what then?
In the Wiccan religion, there is a simple law, stated with such eloquence as to distill this problem into a simple statement.
"If what you seek you find not within, you will never find it without."
What this means is simple. If we would create a more loving world, a world where fear and distrust do not exist, we must first find that love within ourselves, and dispell our own fear and distrust.
It starts, simply enough, with learning to love ourselves.
It is easy to conjure images when I say "love ourselves" of Narcissus, staring at his own reflection in a pool of water, and being unable to turn away. That, however, is not at all what I mean. By loving ourselves, I mean that we are willing to do anything for ourselves that is for our good, even if we don't want to do it. I mean loving ourselves as the Divine loves us, and seeing ourselves through Divine eyes. I mean accepting ourselves exactly as we are, and loving even the parts of ourselves that we dislike, for if we cannot do this for ourselves, we have no chance of enacting that kind of love for another.
It means treating ourselves as sacred, as the starting point of learning to treat all others as sacred.
From there, we can learn to love others, to follow the second greatest commandment, according to Christ:
"And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself." -- Matthew 22:39
It is this, expanding our sense of self, our love for ourselves to others, that will result in the change we are looking for. Imagine a world where everyone not only acknowledged their own sacred nature, and loved and respected themselves, but also recognized that everyone else they met was just as sacred, and applied that love to them as well.
The Buddha teaches us that: "You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection."
It is when we realize that we deserve our own love, and so does everyone else, that we can truly begin the process of changing the world through Agape.
Monday, April 26, 2010
The Beginning
This morning I heard a news story on NPR about a little girl named Isabella. Isabella was born with a genetic disorder called Williams syndrome, which, among a host of physical problems, causes this little 9 year old girl to be biologically incapable of distrust. The reporter told of an incident where Isabella's mother took her to the beach. Isabella asked if they could go to Dairy Queen, and her mother refused. The girl overheard another mother, someone she did not know, talk about going to Dairy Queen, and got into this other mother's car, buckled up, and waited to be taken for ice cream. This obviously deeply concerned not only Isabella's mother, but the other mother as well, who accused Isabella's mom of being incompetent, saying, "I'm a stranger, you know!"
Isabella's mother is trying to teach her daughter how to be wary, to distrust, through standard role playing activities, which, according to the report, Isabella remembers what to do only about 50% of the time.
Here's a link to the story, so you can hear or read it all for yourself:
A Life Without Fear
When I first heard this story, I was naturally full of fear for this child. She has no defense mechanism to know that she shouldn't talk to strangers, or accept candy from them. She innately trusts, and even likes, everyone. One of the rules she has at school is that she's not allowed to say "I love you" to almost anyone. If someone tries to kidnap her, it is unlikely she would even cry out.
And then, I really thought about it.
The problem was summed up in the last part of the story:
"...though Isabelle trusts the world completely, the world is not a place worthy of complete trust."
That is not the world I want to live in, a world where a child who easily loves unconditionally, who never, ever meets a stranger, is in constant danger.
Imagine a world where this little girl's "problem" is no problem at all, where it would be perfectly normal for not just her, but for all children, to be like this, and there was no danger of them disappearing, or being hurt.
Imagine a world where unconditional love and immediate trust are the norm, and distrust and suspicion are the things that seems strange.
That's the world I want to live in. That's the world I want to see come into being. That's the world that this blog is dedicated to seeing come about. A world where Agape, unconditional, God-like love for all things, is the only Law that is needed. A world where fear and distrust simply don't exist, because those emotions are completely unnecessary.
A world that is worthy of the complete trust this little girl shows, everyday.
It is my hope that, in writing this blog, I will gather others who are like minded, who want to actively pursue this dream, who want to make it happen. I welcome ideas and thoughts toward this end, which is why my email is public on this blog. Comments will always be open, though I will delete personal attacks against anyone, whether myself or another poster, as that is completely out of line with the purpose of this blog.
I ask for your help in bringing this dream to fruition.
Isabella's mother is trying to teach her daughter how to be wary, to distrust, through standard role playing activities, which, according to the report, Isabella remembers what to do only about 50% of the time.
Here's a link to the story, so you can hear or read it all for yourself:
A Life Without Fear
When I first heard this story, I was naturally full of fear for this child. She has no defense mechanism to know that she shouldn't talk to strangers, or accept candy from them. She innately trusts, and even likes, everyone. One of the rules she has at school is that she's not allowed to say "I love you" to almost anyone. If someone tries to kidnap her, it is unlikely she would even cry out.
And then, I really thought about it.
The problem was summed up in the last part of the story:
"...though Isabelle trusts the world completely, the world is not a place worthy of complete trust."
That is not the world I want to live in, a world where a child who easily loves unconditionally, who never, ever meets a stranger, is in constant danger.
Imagine a world where this little girl's "problem" is no problem at all, where it would be perfectly normal for not just her, but for all children, to be like this, and there was no danger of them disappearing, or being hurt.
Imagine a world where unconditional love and immediate trust are the norm, and distrust and suspicion are the things that seems strange.
That's the world I want to live in. That's the world I want to see come into being. That's the world that this blog is dedicated to seeing come about. A world where Agape, unconditional, God-like love for all things, is the only Law that is needed. A world where fear and distrust simply don't exist, because those emotions are completely unnecessary.
A world that is worthy of the complete trust this little girl shows, everyday.
It is my hope that, in writing this blog, I will gather others who are like minded, who want to actively pursue this dream, who want to make it happen. I welcome ideas and thoughts toward this end, which is why my email is public on this blog. Comments will always be open, though I will delete personal attacks against anyone, whether myself or another poster, as that is completely out of line with the purpose of this blog.
I ask for your help in bringing this dream to fruition.
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